Life Changes...

It's been over a month now since surgery and learning to live with all of the life changes is harder than I thought. Don't get me wrong, being on soft foods vs. broth is MUCH EASIER on my body and my MIND but I'd give anything for a hamburger or a bean burrito lol. I haven't lost any weight since starting foods either, while it's very upsetting it's not uncommon. I still feel very upset that I'm not seeing vast improvements but there's a part of me that wonders if I'll ever look in the mirror and see anything smaller than the woman I've been for so long. Don't get me wrong, even at my largest I've never been someone that looks in the mirror and gets disgusted, I see my icky days but I also see my regular days and I see a beautiful woman. When I do "my thing" to get ready whether it be for work or going out, the last look in the mirror has always been done with confidence, dislike/disgust of myself has never been an issue nor was it a factor in my decision for surgery -- that was 100% for health and my life's longevity.

At this point a lot of my time is spent dreaming about foods, missing foods, wanting foods, you get the picture. I've been out to eat twice and even though I can only consume about 2-3 oz. of food I have enjoyed it. The absolute hardest part for me at this point is not being able to drink at least 15 minutes before a meal and not for at least 30 minutes following a meal, it's almost like I'd rather drink the cold water than have a meal because the wait is misery for me.

My menu these days consists of:

tuna -- I can usually have it on about 4-5 crackers before being full
cottage cheese with or without peaches
sugar free jello
sugar free pudding
avocado
apple sauce
mashed potatoes
string cheese
cube cheeses
about 2 slices of turkey deli meat with a slice of cheese
peanut butter and crackers
scrambled eggs

Sounds delish huh? I know I can't complain and that I 100% chose this and I have 0 regrets but I am looking forward to the point (11 more days) when I can start 1) eating what I want and learning how my body takes it. 2) truly learning the portions that give me the fullest nutrition without overeating. 3) exercising -- no I'm not ready or wanting to go jog alongside Paul but I'm all about getting on a treadmill and shaking things up on this body!

Again I want to thank all of my friends and family (new & old) for supporting me on this journey and cheering me on -- it's truly the energy and positivity I need help guide me!!!

I'm excited to see what happens as I am able to take in more foods and exercise and see the lbs start shedding again. Don't think for a moment though that I'm not incredibly proud that I'm down 37 lbs. since January 9, 2012!!!!