Facts & Fears...

All of the paperwork needed for surgery approval was submitted to my health insurance company on 12/6/2011, as of the 9th still pending. I was told to call and call and bug them to push it but having them say it would only be about 5-7 days for an answer, I don't see the point in nagging.

Some FACTS at this point:
-I'm not mentally or emotionally prepared to rush surgery for this month.
-I'm more realistic everyday about how this is going to change my life forever.
-I am constantly questioning whether I should have shared this journey with anyone outside of my immediate family or not, which leads to my current
FEARS:
-What if I don't get approval for insurance coverage?
-How am I going to pay my insurance deductible and other out-of-pocket fees?
-How am I going to handle recovery, especially without my Mom?
-Will I be in a lot of pain?
-Will I look like such a different person that Paul won't love me?
-Will I change as a person inside because of the changes on the outside?

I guess at this point I'm mostly anxious to know the insurance's decision, set a date, and then figure out a way to come up with a few thousand dollars -- my biggest question and fear.

So, now I wait, pray, wish, hope and leave it in the hands of the universe/a higher power/whomever it is that decides my fate in life.