Where to begin?!?!?!

I kind of vanished from the blogging world about 8 months ago, I'm not sure that there's any major factor that atributed to it other than lack of creativity and drive not only to write but to continue my optimism about my ever-changing body. I've sadly been at a stand-still in my weight loss journey for quite some time now and perhaps that ended my need to share my successes because there hasn't been many. I have, however, begun that journey again and decided that my day-to-day life is just as much a journey with successes, daily, with or without pertaining to my body.

So...what's been going on in the wonderful world of Shelby you ask?!? (Whatever, you didn't- but I'm going to share anyway!!)

After 6 months of unemployment I found what I truly believed was the perfect place for me and started in February. Unfortunately, I think I was just excited to have a job and I fell short of what I wanted, which in turn caused me to fall short of enthusiasm in the work place. I do not handle drama well, nor change, and in a situation with high turn-over and people from all walks of life I began to take home a little too much of the emotional stress than I should and it drained a part of me, which is normally very happy and optimistic. I felt horrible about letting down my boss at the time and I'd never really quit a job, not in 4 months (I did Cathy's Wok at the age of 15 and Schechter but that was after 11 years), this was a new and scary thing for me, I don't like letting others down!!!! I was looking but not actively and received a forwarded message on LinkedIn from a former co-worker that someone was looking for an Admin/Assistant type role in the Insurance field (something I knew from working at Cigna) so I messaged my resume and let the ball roll whichever way it would. After 2 interviews and a few weeks, I was offered the job and hated resigning where I was because it was so out of character but I had to do what was best for ME (another thing I seldomly do). I started my new job in July and have been so happy! I've learned so much, I've gone to seminars, classes, obtained my General Lines (Life, Health, & Accident) Insurance Agent's license, been certified for HIPAA and ACA, etc. It's an ever-changing world, health insurance, but so far I'm loving it!! After my 2nd week here at DBSI, Paul told me one night that I was a different person when I got home from work, that I was happy and still had energy and didn't retreat to my room in exhaustion or seem drained -- that is when I knew I had made the best choice EVER!

A few months back Paul and I opened the topic of children again, one that we'd closed, together, mutually having decided that we were so happy with us and our amazing nephews that we didn't really think children were in our future for financial reasons, etc. We were so set on that, Paul actually had a vasectomy consultation, something very few knew before this posting. I honestly had made him swear we'd never tell anyone that we medically took the option out of the equation because my family has always wanted me to have a child and just "not wanting one" was easier to admit than something as final as a procedure. After a lot of talks, lots of crying (mostly me - shocker), we decided that we do want a child!! So, the weight-loss journey is back on because we both feel that losing more weight will only help with conceiving and carrying, although my Dr., said go for it now, she thinks I'm in great health and sees no reason my weight and age will be a factor; still, the goal is try and lose another 50 lbs., I'm down 85-90 (depending on water weight) since surgery Jan. 23, 2012 - can't complain, especially since I honestly eat what I want just get full faster. So to the gym we've been going, higher protein diet I've been eating, and we will probably start trying around Feb/March time frame. We are also big on wanting to save enough financially that me taking maternity-leave won't gauge our finances too horribly.

Life really is a journey, one STEP at a time and I'm amazed with each unfolding day.

I'm still numb from my Mom's death which is fast approaching 2 years (10/31) and I find it hard to imagine having a child without her but I just know she'll be guiding me every step of the way.

I fall more in love with my amazing husband daily, especially watching him with our nephews, he loves each of them as much as I do and it's a sight that brings tears to my eyes on so many occasions, especially when he's reading to Banner, holding precious Quinn's teeny fingers, FaceTiming with Bubba (Colby) almost nightly, and helping Miles to grow into a little man with ease. I am more confident in the father that Paul will be than I am in the mother I will.

I truly am going to make a concerted effort to blog at least 1-2 a month because it is so therapeutic and I actually love it.

Some high points that I'll bullet point since my last entry just to get everyone caught up on whatever I don't post on FB (HA - that's everything):

*We celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary 8/18/13!
*Quinn Redding Johnson was borng 9/9/13, rounding out my nephew count to an even 4!
*Miles turned 9, Colby 3 and Banner 2.
*Sam and Am celebrated 4 years of marriage.
*Gayle and Jason celebrate 9 years of marriage.
*Paul and I went on our first vacation, 4 days in Port Aransas, TX (North Padre) and it was divine!
*Lots of good times with friends and family as always!
*Dad has found a happiness he hasn't had in a couple years, Vicki, has brought new fun and laughter into the family by way of a life-long friend, Mom would be happy!

So, my days go on, each one a new step in this crazy journey of life but I'm so excited and hopeful about the coming STEPS!!!!